For years, I beat myself up for not being able to keep my house in pristine condition. Mind you, for the most part, we didn’t live in squalor. There was a short time where I remember praying on at least three different occasions “God would please get my house vacuumed today?” only to find that within a short time my son (then 2) felt the need to dump an entire box of cereal on the floor. Of course, while the vacuum was already out…God’s creativity never ceases to amaze me. One day He surprised me more and no one poured cereal. Instead, the Kirby vacuum people showed up at the door, wanting to demonstrate how clean my rugs could get with their machine.
You see, I had friends who always had delightful houses. Even when no one was coming, they had systems in place to keep the clutter at bay. We, on the other hand, had 4 kids, 3 of which were born in just 4 years. For 5 of those years, I worked out of the home meeting 4 daily deadlines, and homeschooled.
This Spring, I went through my whole house and cleared out everything we aren’t using. Then, a friend came over and helped me arrange my living room for flow and purpose. Finally, I’ve reached the point of order that I have wished for all these years. This new order has also brought on the ability to retrain my kids (now teens) to not leave their stuff in the living room, but to clean up after themselves. This pinnacle brought on a realization: I always thought I valued being perfect. What I actually value is order. Yet, my actions indicate that I valued other things more.
What’s got me puzzled is that I beat myself up for years. I wanted to be like those women whose kids always matched, and who had the June Cleaver-thing down. I thought I just wasn’t capable. I wish I had understood that even in this, I was valuing something else more. The choice is done, so I’m not going back to change it – or to judge it. However, this process has me considering all the choices I make. What am I really valuing? Five years from now, will today’s value judgement have the results I want?
What values to your decisions indicate that you hold?
Do you like the results of your decisions?
Five years from now, will today’s values judgments have the impact you are hoping for?
One of the hardest things for us to do is live in congruity with ourselves. This means that our life, our work, our ministry and purpose, and our attitudes are all working together in the same direction. If you want to work with someone on building congruity in all parts of your life, you can connect with me here. You can also find out more about Deep Imprints Coaching on the About page.