Storms of life

We wish the storms of life would go away, but what if they are actually helping us?

I was playing with my Alexa device and discovered the Accuweather daily briefing – which doesn’t tell you the weather, btw – instead, it gives an interesting weather story. Today’s story was about how the sand storms in the Sahara prevent hurricanes. 

Similarly, there are storms of life that we live through that prevent future hurricanes.

Situational Storm Seasons

Many years ago, our family went through a very rough period. You might know those periods of life – they feel like everything is falling apart. You can feel the waves of devastation rolling in.

In our case, we had 5 job changes, we moved, our oldest left for college and three of my husband’s five-person family of origin died – all in 3 years. That was a storms-of-life season. Yet, many of the most difficult shifts turned out to be for our good. Every job loss for that time created space for us to spend time on what was most important….only to find out later just how important that time was. We were preventing hurricanes by surviving sandstorms. 

The best tool we had for this season was thankfulness. Looking at what is right helps you gain perspective on what is falling apart.

Personal Storms

Another type of sandstorm that might prevent a hurricane is relational conflict. Many in my family think that interpersonal conflict shouldn’t happen. When we have a fight with someone and they are mad, it feels like we have destroyed the relationship (or they have)…but then we work it out. Bonds become stronger and we build trust…ideally.

We don’t always handle conflict well. So, when we have a disagreement with someone we demonize them – we see how they are all wrong and we are all right. We might also devalue them and treat them like they are less than. Good conflict admits that emotions are high but cares for the other person in the midst. We are careful to use our words to resolve the conflict rather than pulverize the other person. We make the end goal a renewed relationship rather than a “win” on the topic of discussion.

Throughout the storms of life, it is critical to learn how to manage our emotions so that we don’t do damage to others – while simultaneously voicing what needs to be said. There is a time and place for anger expressed well – and it never should devalue another person.

We are better because people in our lives choose to stand up to us and tell us when we are wrong. This is the type of sandstorm that will prevent a hurricane.

Sandstorms do hurt – it never feels good to have conflict – but if we value one another throughout the conflict, we will come out stronger and closer in the end.