- “I’m sorry” or
- “I was wrong”
Those aren’t my thing. It is easy for me to admit fault in those ways.
However, even typing this next sentence is emotionally trying. I hate to say “I don’t know.”
And, I’m married to a very inquisitive man. He asks questions – usually until he hits the bottom of the barrel with me. For years, he put me in a panic. I hated to say those dreaded words so much that I’d cause a fight just to avoid saying them.
You might know that panic – your blood races, your brain feels like someone turned on the AM static, and your chest feels like something is trying to crawl out of it. No matter what I did, when I could sense that final question coming – the one I couldn’t answer – the panic would start, and panic gives rise to adrenaline, which fuels our fight or flight response.
Some would say it is a pride thing. It probably is. We all have them. Some women don’t want to be caught without makeup, some of us can’t stand to admit we were wrong, or own up to the damage we’ve done in others. My panic was as personal to me as yours is to you.
Then I discovered a work around. In recent months, I’ve expanded my abilities. Today you might hear me say:
- “I don’t have anymore information on that”
- “You have reached the end of my knowledge on the topic”
- “That’s all I’ve got” and even
- “I’ve got nothin'”
People are important. If our failure to say those very hard words means something to them, it should mean something to us. If we have phrases that send our adrenaline into an instant polka routine, then we need to face our fears and find a better approach.
What is it that you hate to say? Would it help to find some workarounds?\