When people betray you

Sometimes, life throws a curve ball. In these situations, we have a paradigm – although it can be hard, we know to lean into God and get His perspective.

However, there are times that the curve ball comes from a person. They reject us, fail us, hurt us, betray us and cheat. Instead of working for our good, their decisions cause us to spin out…losing our footing and falling into maelstrom of emotion.

Joseph was enslaved. The Pharisees were so threatened by Jesus that they had him killed. Sometimes, others make bad decisions that will change your life. 

In these situations, we need a paradigm shift and a game plan.

The cause doesn’t matter. Once we get over praying that the fleas from a thousand camels will infest their armpits, we want a reason. What caused them to be so vicious? Was it them? Us?

If I did something different, could I have changed the outcome?

These questions can eat you up. They warp how you see the world and rob you of your sense of safety and confidence.

Instead, we need to know – deep down in our “knower” that God really is in charge. When people go bad, it doesn’t mean that God lost control. 

Joseph – God had better things for him, and salvation in mind for his whole family. He went from being a favored son to second in charge of the most powerful nation at the time. His brothers didn’t destroy his life. Tromping in a long row of dirty, dusty slaves on his way to Egypt, Joseph had to feel like his life was over – yet God was really at work.

Jesus – the Pharisees thought they were “saving” their nation by getting rid of the one who claimed to be God (keeping the Romans from moving in and crushing them). They also thought they were insuring their perpetuity. God used their fervor to save humanity. Even in the most devastating betrayals, God was at work – and by His stripes, we are healed.

There is no mistake that will make God take his hands off your life. You were washed clean by Christ’s death on the cross. You stand before God whole and complete, lacking nothing. Just like Joseph and Jesus – this moment is not the end. God is at work.

When other people throw you curve balls, you need to know in your “knower” that God really is in charge. God is up to something – not only for your life, but for all those around you.

This type of pain usually comes when we are finally feeling comfortable. Remember the last time you woke up in a perfectly cozy bed? We don’t like to leave comfort. When others betray us, the pain of losing our comfort, of losing our security, can dominate our mind.

It is important to walk through the process, and not deny the pain. However, don’t get trapped. William Bridges tells us that transition has three parts – know what you are letting go of and letting go of it; redefining who you are without what you lost; and finding a new direction.

When others betray you, cry, rage, flail – and then look to God. He is up to something,

Need to hear someone else going through this pain? Listen to David in Psalms 42-43.